Profoundly invalidating environments
Some of the time she would be accepting and validating, while at other times she would be challenging and promoting change.
She would switch back and forth according to her client's ability to tolerate the emotions that surrounded requests for change.
They tend to have powerful emotional reactions to situations in which they feel invalidated.
Their childhood histories often reflected a poor match between the emotional needs of such highly sensitive children, and their caregivers.
Growing up in invalidating environments over time sucks all of the self worth and self compassion from the child until the adult emerges, uncertain of their feelings about themselves, the world around them, and their own intrinsic value as a human being.
Rebuilding who I am from the wreckage of my childhood has been a long, slow process.
This presented a therapeutic dilemma for Linehan because acceptance and change are incompatible agendas.
" or, "Big boys don't cry." Linehan concluded that the change emphasis of conventional CBT felt profoundly invalidating to her clients.This mismatch between caregiver and child created an environment in which the child's emotions were frequently invalidated.